[Sorry, Dave, you're going to have to spot the Monty Python reference in the title too, or you're off my Xmas card list. Eventually, I will just include a word such as 'confuse', 'lupin' or 'Ilchester', and it'll get tough. After that, I will expect you to recognise the use of the word 'Dolores', and finally 'the'. If you pass those tests, you become part of the Secret Python Brotherhood. There's a blood oath and some frankly gratuitous humiliation (always good for a laugh, eh?!), but I'll put in a good word for you with the Master.]
Well, that was a bit of fun, but now to our muttons.
Anyone know where the word 'banksman' comes from? Nope, neither do I. Maybe it's something to do with ships, boats or barges, or thatching, or ferret juggling, but I really can't be bothered to look it up. Basically, it's the guy who stands around on building sites doing sod all, but at certain moments he controls the matter of the moment (see what I did there?!) by the flick of a finger or similar.
Right, at the moment [That's enough moments - Editor] Kingston are spending an inordinate amount of money redeveloping what used to be the power station. It's absolutely unbelievable what they are doing to it. I'd tell you, but you wouldn't believe me. Honest, you wouldn't. (Well, maybe Dave would, but then he's resigned to looking at major building and civil engineering programmes that look totally insane to normal people. No offence, Dave!) You'd say 'Pshaw!'. Or 'You're 'avin' a larf!'. Depending on your class. And you lower class types can b*gger off, I think I have exhausted your attention span by now.
[I'm just writing this purely for my own pleasure ... you can tell, can't you?]
Oh, I've built this up too much. I should have just Tweeted. Hey ho, let's plunge on.
Anyway, I cycle past this place every day. Today, they were using a JCB to knock down a wall next to the roadway, with its grab. This is not a recommended technique, but it does the job. There were wire fences up, it wasn't a clear and present danger, as far as I could see.
I stopped to savour the moment [I said, no more moments - Editor] and Banksman No. 1 went into jobsworth mode and screamed at me:
"Whoa, whoa! There's no stopping here!".
So I looked down at my stationary bicycle, and said something along the lines of 'My God, then this must be a miracle I have just performed!".
Much gay banter ensued, and then much handwaving from Banksman No. 2 up the road (the one who never speaks, but does the hand jive stuff), and I eventually moved on. Purely because I was bored.
Look, we don't have to take this. I am tired of being ordered around by people who think they have power, but who don't. And I am prepared to back this up with arbitrary violence. They have just pushed us too far. Are you with me? No? Oh, well, I'll back off.
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